Love bombing is a form of emotional and psychological abuse in which an individual manipulates another person into loving them. Recognizing this form of abuse can help you leave toxic relationships and allow you to build a healthy and happy life.
What Does “Love Bombing” Even Mean?
“Love bombing” is a phrase that has become more prevalent in recent years to describe a form of conditioning and abuse. When a person love bombs another, they will shower them with affection and attention in an effort to manipulate and gain control.
The relationship will move fast without the ability to set personal boundaries. Then, after the initial “honeymoon” period, the person’s attitude will change, and their true colors will begin to show. They may tell you that you’re selfish for trying to do anything without them and then psychologically manipulate you into believing you can’t be whole without them.
Who Can Be Victimized?
Unfortunately, an abuser may see someone with low self-esteem or mental health issues as an “easy target.” The added affection and attention can make them feel worthy, so it’s hard to see the truth of the situation.
You may also find yourself in the same toxic relationship patterns over and over again. This often has a lot to do with deep inner wounds, childhood trauma, and other limited programming that you’re being called to heal.
However, it’s true that absolutely anyone can be victimized by love bombing. This is why it’s important to recognize the warning signs and know how to set strong personal boundaries.
Warning Signs
There’s no definitive list of warning signs for love bombing. In fact, love bombing can look quite different from one person to the next.
There are some general behaviors you may want to look out for, but keep in mind that they don’t always mean your partner is love bombing.
- The relationship moves fast and feels intense
- You feel like your only identity is the relationship
- Your partner showers you with gifts, compliments, and affection at the very beginning of the relationship
- You become distanced from family and friends
- Your partner is needy of affection and attention
After the Love Bombing Phase
While there’s no specific time frame for the love bombing phase, it can often last for a few months to a few years. Most often, if your partner is love bombing, you will begin to notice changes in their behavior over time.
Initial changes in behavior may come in the form of an argument. Your partner may be angry that you’re going to spend time with family or friends or do anything else that doesn’t include them.
Arguments can then grow more intense and emotional. They may even end with extreme affection that makes you feel loved. This is another act of love bombing that can make you unable to see the situation for what it is.
Gaslighting
When you’re in a toxic relationship, your partner may manipulate you into questioning yourself, your beliefs, and the truth of a situation. This psychological manipulation tactic is called gaslighting, and it’s extremely common in love bombing.
You may not recognize it at first, but true gaslighting will cause you to doubt your own perceptions, and you may even feel like you can’t trust your reality. A partner will gaslight you in order to manipulate you into believing that they’re the only person you can trust.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder
According to Behavioral Medicine, narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is “characterized by a persistent pattern of grandiosity, fantasies of unlimited power or importance, and the need for admiration or special treatment.” More often than not, love bombing and gaslighting are signs of narcissistic abuse.
Core characteristics of NPD include “impulsivity, volatility, attention-seeking, low self-esteem, and unstable interpersonal relationships that result in a pervasive pattern of interpersonal difficulties, occupational problems, and significant psychosocial distress.”
A person who has NPD will love bomb in order to feel powerful, important, and admired. Then, when they feel like they’re losing control of their partner, they may become violent, impulsive, or even suicidal. This volatile up-and-down cycle can make it difficult to leave a toxic relationship.
Leaving an Abusive Relationship
If you’re a victim of love bombing, it’s important to seek help so you can safely leave the relationship. The Office on Women’s Health (OWH) says that there are “many complicated reasons why it is difficult to leave an abusive partner.” It’s normal to feel overwhelmed. Having a plan in place before you decide to leave will help alleviate some of the stress.
Domestic violence will often start out as emotional abuse, like love bombing and gaslighting. The OWH suggests getting help as soon as possible. They also mention that domestic abuse can happen to anyone, not just women.
Healing at The Guest House
At The Guest House, you can find the help you need to not only leave an abusive relationship but also heal your life in the process. We take pride in our trauma-specific care that can offer you a safe space of solitude while you overcome emotional wounds.
Experiencing an abusive relationship is a traumatic experience. At The Guest House, our therapeutic modalities will help you heal from trauma as you develop a deep sense of self-love and self-worth.
Trauma lives as negative energy in the body. The Guest House offers many programs that can help you release this energy, including somatic therapy, conscious connected breathwork, and sound healing. Traditional therapeutic modalities like individual and group therapy can help you process your thoughts, feelings, and emotions through shared vulnerability and connection.
After leaving an abusive relationship, it’s more important than ever to take care of yourself. The Guest House will help you reconnect with yourself on a deep, soul level through our holistic programs and therapeutic modalities.
Love bombing is an act of psychological and emotional manipulation. Showering a person with gifts, love, and affection may seem innocent at first. Unfortunately, there may be a dangerous situation beneath the surface. If you’re in an abusive relationship, it’s important to seek help in healing from this traumatic experience. At The Guest House, our mission is to provide trauma-specific care to help you heal your mind, body, and soul. We offer a large variety of both traditional and nontraditional therapeutic methods that will help you release traumatic energy from the body and reconnect with yourself on a soul level. For more information, give us a call today at (855) 483-7800.