As we work to recover, we start to examine our addictions and mental illnesses more honestly and in greater detail. We start to analyze ourselves more closely and look at our thought patterns, our emotional patterns and our behavioral patterns. We learn over time what is driving these patterns, and for many of us, it is our subconscious tendencies towards self-defeat and self-sabotage that are fueling them. We are unconsciously self-destructive, causing ourselves all kinds of inner turmoil and pain in the process. Why are we so self-defeating?
Consciously we want to heal, we want to be happy, we want what’s best for ourselves. Unconsciously, however, we’re still contending with deeply rooted self-rejection and self-hatred. We suffer from low self-esteem. We lack confidence and don’t believe in our worth. We create a self-image around our shame and guilt. Our self-perception gets tainted by our fears of inadequacy and unworthiness. We never feel good enough. We feel as though we’re in competition with other people, and we fear we’ll never measure up. We don’t believe we deserve the best. We don’t know our value. We feel as though we don’t add anything positive to our communities, to our families, or to the world. We often feel lonely, lost and alone. We don’t know our purpose, and we feel sad, empty and unfulfilled.
The more we feed into our self-disparaging thoughts, the more we subconsciously work against ourselves. We sabotage our healing progress and undermine our potential. We don’t see ourselves as we truly are, full of promise and talent. We don’t see our strengths or our gifts. We don’t see all of the exciting possibilities that lay ahead for us. Instead, we give into our self-defeat and limit ourselves, keeping ourselves small, complacent and well within the constraints of our comfort zones because we’re afraid of pushing ourselves, of reaching for more, of possibly failing. We’re afraid to risk anything because we don’t believe in ourselves enough to know that we’ll land on our feet no matter what. We don’t have faith in ourselves. Our sense of self has become so corrupted we’re no longer our own ally. We’re actually working against ourselves, in how we think, feel and act, in the daily choices we make, in how we treat ourselves.
We see our self-defeat come up in various ways. Maybe we refuse to ask for help even when we know we need it. Perhaps we cancel therapy appointments or don’t go to our meetings regularly. Maybe we engage with the people and activities we know contribute to our addictive patterns. Maybe we flirt with danger and expose ourselves to the things that lead us to relapse. However self-defeat looks for you, it’s so important to start becoming more mindful of it so that you can work to reverse it as you heal and move forward.
The Guest House is a welcoming and supportive recovery home where you will be met with open arms, wherever where you are on your journey, without judgment or expectation. Call 855-483-7800 today for more information.