Children are meant to be seen and not heard. This is an old saying and ideology that created significant emotional impairment in a generation of people, who went on to raise children. Children who had nothing be about them in the eyes of their parents, who were narcissistic, grew up to be narcissists themselves. The generational chain of narcissism has carried on for some time, however it seems that younger generations of today are working hard to stop the pattern. Instead of repeating their parent’s behaviors, young people are going to therapy or treatment to analyze the past, investigate personal behaviors, and heal from the narcissistic parenting they experienced growing up.
Children of narcissists often feel incompetent, inadequate, and unfulfilled. The conditional love presented by their parents was based on achievement and demonstration. Without doing something or acting in a certain way to please their parents, they did not receive love and affection; perhaps, some, but not the same kind they received during moments of accolade and celebration. Most often, when a narcissistic parent was displaying this affection, it was to show off and make their child’s accomplishment and extension of themselves. As a result, nothing the child could do could make them feel fulfilled by their parent’s love. Even when they received love, it was still about the narcissistic parent.
It is easy to develop maladaptive coping behaviors to try and deal with the reality of a narcissistic parent. The emotional, mental, and sometimes physical abuse that can come with narcissism is traumatizing and leaves deep wounds in the mind, the body, and the spirit. Accepting the truth- that their was something mentally wrong with a parent- is hard. You want to believe in the absolute best of your parent and that they could have done- or still could do- better. By recognizing that a diagnosable personality disorder was present, you can let go of the old videotapes in your mind that you play over and over again in your head. Releasing the painful memories of the past by confronting them with mindful truth helps your holistic self heal.
Treat yourself with compassion as you endure the therapeutic journey of healing from a narcissistic parent. Understand that the varying stages of grief will play a part as you mourn multiple losses: who your parent is and was, what happened to you as a child, and how you wanted everything to be in your mind. You can recover and live a life liberated from the burden of the past, creating a future that doesn’t involve repeating the narcissistic cycle.
At The Guest House Ocala, you will be met with open arms, welcoming you where you are, how you are. Our private residential treatment programs are individually designed to help you heal from trauma, addictions, and related issues. Come transform your life from the past for a brighter future. Call us today for information on our concierge style accommodations: 1-855-483-7800