In our previous blog, we discussed some of the signs you may notice if you have been a victim of narcissistic abuse. Largely, these signs were behavioral, the kind of signs which appear in the way you behave and the ways you choose to act in relation to yourself and to others. Narcissistic abuse is often emotional abuse, which is a deeply traumatizing experience. Trauma, defined as any kind of event which changes the way we see ourselves, our world, or our place in our world, skews our sense of reality. Especially in relation with someone enacting narcissistic abuse, we are being emotionally abused and manipulated in a way which intentionally breaks our sense of reality. Moreover, we are forced to question ourselves and others as the truth of the narcissist’s abuse becomes our authority and our sense of truth outside of the toxic dynamic slowly disappears.
You Live With Doubt
Doubt can be defined as “a feeling of uncertainty or lack of conviction”. On the one hand, you may feel constantly uncertain, unable to trust yourself or anyone else, as well as anything that is ever said as truth. Most often, victims of narcissistic abuse live with a lack of conviction. Though most of their being may feel as though they intellectually believe in someone or something, or themselves, emotionally, something doesn’t fully settle. There is always an edge of doubt, which really means there is the sense that there could be another truth. Overall, living with doubt means living with the fear that a new truth will emerge in such a way that it turns all other reality on its head. This is the truth of narcissistic abuse and it is extremely confusing.
You Live With Confusion
Narcissistic abuse is intentionally confusing in an emotionally abusive way. Having deeply soulful wounds which have never been healed, a narcissist needs to project their pain onto someone else. Living with the taxing responsibility and weight of someone else’s emotional experiences is immensely confusing. Confusion in the traumatic sense means having difficulty discerning what is personal responsibility and what is not, what are one’s own feelings and what are not, what is reality and what is not.
You Live With Exhaustion
The trauma of narcissistic abuse is exhausting. Active relationships with someone who has not resolved the trauma origins of their narcissism often means having to endure active abuse. Being retraumatized and newly traumatized over and over again, then trying to cope with the tactics of abuse on behalf of a narcissist is simply exhausting. Mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, you are completely spent. You do your best to survive in whatever ways that you can, even if that means hurting yourself in order to escape the pain.
You can recover from the trauma of narcissistic abuse and have healthy, functioning relationships in the future. You will learn to trust yourself again as you build a beautiful reality founded in recovery.
Everyone’s story starts before treatment. Everyone’s story changes the minute they arrive to treatment. The Guest House Ocala offers residential programming for trauma, addictions, and related mental health issues, customized to meet your unique needs. Call us today for information on life at the estate: 1-855-483-7800